Protest the Beard-block

Hi everyone!

So, let's talk about Protest the Hero. If you are one of the lucky ones who knows me pretty well, then you should know how much I love this band. I have been an outright supergeek about their music since '05/'06 and have followed them closely ever since. I have seen them live four times in Chicago, one time in San Francisco, and one time in Iowa. (And I am kicking myself for turning down a chance to see them in Baltimore last week!) I can go on and on about them. But I won't, for your sake. Anyway, after the show, we checked out the record store above the venue. Lo and behold, two of the band members walk in.


From left to right: My pal Alex, lead singer Rody "Choad" Walker, lead guitarist Luke, Yours Truly.

Please notice their beards. Three of five of the band members have grown their beards for over five months and guitarist Tim has not shaved for over three years. His beard (and hair for that matter) is RIDICULOUSLY LONG. Check it out in this picture I took at the San Fran show last month:



So the guys are doing this because they wanted to compete and participate in the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships in Alaska. Tim has had this in his sights for three years! But today, just TODAY they found out that their tour dates in Alaska were canceled by their promoter, virtually eliminating their chance of getting to the competition. They're an amazing band and truly gifted musicians, but they simply don't make a lot of money, and it would cost them a lot of scratch to get to the competition.

I can not imagine how crushed they must feel now. They planned an entire U.S. tour over a half-year in advance to end in Alaska for this event. They ENDURED the entire tour (as the D put it - "the road is fuckin hard, it's also really fuckin tough") They did not shave for over five months! This was going to be an amazing celebration for a job well done - something all 5 of them could share together.

So, it was a very bittersweet experience for me. I am both deeply happy and deeply sad after tonight. Obviously, I was so excited to meet these guys in person (again!). I was even happier because now they are on their first headlining tour of the U.S. and things are going pretty well for them. I think they deserve to not have beer bottles thrown at them on stage, and it seems that it has not happened to them in a while. On top of it all, they told me some of their future plans (taking a break to write a new album, assembling a large-scale comprehensive documentary dvd chronicling band history and misadventures, and, oh, right, a live set on DVD!!).

I wish there was some way I could have helped them. Luke told me that the band is taking the cut from the canceled Alaska shows (half of the deal with the promoter) and will fund Tim's trip to the competition. What a sacrifice they are making! It was really encouraging to see the way they support each other - gives me confidence that they are going to stick together as a band for a while. Also, Tim has some special plans to put his hairiness to good use. Check his myspace blog post here: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=7964123&blogId=489133581

In conclusion, I suppose I should mention that the show was incredible. The sound was very good and the guys nailed most of their parts. Oh my with the circus bonanza and the Limb from Limb sweep city...

I love metal!

Part 2: Vertigo

These days when I lay awake, I am often overcome with a severe feeling of vertigo. No, not because my bed is perched upon a six-foot loft. Rather, I feel as if I am perched upon twenty-two years of living that might actually be of little substance whatsoever. It is a dizzying, sickening sensation to look back at a lifetime of eager, brimming passion and great potential and suddenly feel that there is nothing solid to grasp onto.

Have I ascended to this point on nothing but a cloud of illusions, or have I indeed been climbing upon the earth with my hands and my feet, exerting genuine effort and achieving true accomplishments? Often, the answer is not clear to me.

Ask anyone very close to me and they will let you know how I feel about myself at interval. I feel as if I squeak past my requirements with only the bare minimum. I rarely think my effort warrants the rewards I achieve. I am convinced that I yield results that are but a fraction of my real potential.

I feel as though I should be consistently blasting out home runs, but I am typically off the mark. I turn good pitches to hit into pop ups and ground outs, but occasionally I will find a gap or the wind will blow one out for me. And why? I am a chronic time waster. I am typically late. I struggle with focus. My discipline fluctuates wildly. I’m a big talker. I’m a poser.

Did I mention I am easily discouraged?

With every squandered opportunity, every disappointing performance, every shameful decision I make, I feel my conviction in my uniqueness is dulling. It becomes increasingly difficult as I grow older to reject the thought that, indeed, I once was special, but I have since ruined my chances to make an extraordinary life for myself. There is nothing more terribly convincing than watching your own actions – or inaction – destroy your own dreams.

Part 1: My waking dream

When I was young, I would lie awake at night and think. I would think about atoms and time and the beauty of music. And I would be filled with such joy - such pure and beautiful joy - that I would shiver with excitement. One night, I realized I was an extraordinary person and decided I would lead an extraordinary life. I concluded that all the marvels and wonders of existence of which I was so acutely aware were mine to behold and to cherish, and, most importantly, to cultivate and manifest into a life of tremendous accomplishment and joy. In those moments, I felt no greater truth than this: that my life was special and that I would use it to do great things for myself and for others.