A Fraternal Wake-up Call

Dear Brothers,

I am frustrated with the chronically disrespectful behavior that my chapter has tolerated from its members. Here is my written equivalent of a cold, hard wake-up call.

The Fraternity does not owe its members anything. Rather, it is we who are indebted to our Chapter for the experiences and opportunities it affords us. The harder we work to earn these privileges and the more allegiance and cooperation we give to our brothers, the more rewards we will reap in the end. Those who are not willing to accept this responsibility or to embrace and trust the brotherhood will reap a sad and angry fraternity experience. If any of our members feel this way about the chapter, then the fault is solely their own for not being smart, committed, or patient enough to do something about it. Ignorance or neglect are never viable solutions to a real problem. If a brother is displeased with his experience in the chapter, then he has one of two options. First, he can man up, figure out how to make a positive change, and then work his ass off to bring it about. Otherwise, he can pack up and get out. Because, if a brother feels the chapter is not worthy of his genuine effort, then that brother is not worthy of the chapter.

Our guys right now seem to forget that fraternity life is supposed to be a celebration of brotherhood. Celebrations are supposed to be fun! The first words that come to mind when we think of fraternity should not be "chore" or "torture," they should be "fuck yeah!" Yet there is some sort of distinction that so many brothers draw between fun and cooperation. It is as if, in order to enjoy ourselves, we need to betray some aspect of our fraternal responsibilities. Well, that is not a healthy attitude, and if a brother can't honestly find a way to enjoy chapter activities, then there is a problem. No, cleaning isn't fun, but kicking back and admiring a job well done is! No, having a rush event after a full day of classes isn't fun, but watching your chapter attract and recruit good men is! Yes, campus involvement can make your schedule busy, but promoting Phi Kappa Sigma's name should make you feel proud and accomplished.

The point is this: In past generations, our chapter has churned out incredibly successful people who absolutely cherished their college and fraternity experiences. Contrary to what many of our brothers claim, it is possible to enjoy fraternity life at Phi Kappa Sigma. It actually IS a worthwhile investment of time and energy. So what did past generations have that our chapter does not?

Well, for one, they had drive. They knew what they wanted - SUCCESS - and they didn't let anyone or anything stop them from getting it. They knew that, one way or another, they would become adult men during their few years in college. Every day, the choices they made ultimately impacted the type of man they would become. With this on their mind, nothing was more important than consistent hard work.

They also had grit. They weren't afraid of getting dirty or of a little pain. Yeah, so what, it sucks to wake up early every day. Yeah, it sucks to keep an entire house spotless. Yes, classes are hard, and you actually HAVE to study in order to learn. But what kind of man does one become if they can not put up with the momentary unpleasantness of hard work? A lazy, listless loser, that's what! There is no comfortable road to success, and those looking for it will either fail or become a dishonest man.

Our alumni also had pride and spirit. They knew, each and every day, that they were top dogs - the best of the best - and they acted like it. Such spirit is motivating - it keeps you going when the going gets rough. It is unifying - it draws you and your brothers together behind a purpose and an identity. It is contagious - it inspires others to strive and it ensures that those who are unwilling will stand out and be weeded out.

Finally, the brightest, happiest, and most successful of our chapter's alumni all had a deep sense of commitment and devotion to the best interests of the fraternity and of the brotherhood. This requires endurance and commitment through everything; from the bad - tough decisions, grueling hard work, long meetings, boring routines, vehement disagreements, nasty hangovers, big mistakes, and moral confusion - to the good - celebrations of success, wild adventures, genuine trust in others, support when it is needed, companionship, intelligent discussion, shared experiences, academic help, professional advice, and a shit ton of fun.

Our members can not pick and choose their involvement. Commitment is not conditional. And no brother's personal comfort is more important than the best interest of the chapter. Any brother with drive, grit, spirit, and commitment will walk away from his fraternity having gained a rich and valuable college experience. Any brother who approaches fraternity as he would a crappy job that he does just for the paycheck not only ruins his own experience but poisons the atmosphere for the rest of his brothers.

There was a time when our chapter's membership dropped to four brothers. This was a result of a "you're in or you're out" choice given to the brothers when the house went dry. I feel that we should keep up this attitude in regards to our members' commitment to the chapter. Right now, our chapter harbors brothers with stubborn, immature grudges against others in the chapter. There are brothers who feel that they are owed special rights or exemption from the responsibility of maintaining the chapter. There are brothers who groan when they are asked to participate in chapter activities. I think these guys should be sat down and given a cold, hard wake up call and a pep talk. If there is nothing in our Ritual or in our chapter privileges that inspires them enough to quit being a selfish, spoiled brat and grow up, then there is no place for them in our chapter. Both parties will be made better for a clean break at that point.

To those who are inspired, who are motivated, and who DO respect their brothers and their fraternity: I suggest you review the vows you took and start to consciously strive each and every day to stay committed to them. Think of what pisses you off about the chapter and what you are doing right now to improve it. If you can think of nothing, then don't you dare complain again until you've spent your undergraduate tenure busting your ass to make things better. Think of how you can improve and earn yourself and your chapter a better future. Quit worrying about yourself so much and talk to your brothers more - learn to enjoy your time with them! Expect the best of yourself and your brothers, and for God's sake, be proud of the Chapter to which you belong!

Let's see some drive. Lets see some grit and some spirit! Commit yourself to your own future and to your brothers!

And let's start representing Phi Kappa Sigma the way it deserves.

Fraternally,
Kevin